My friend Jason recently received his original Damien Hirst Spot Painting for finishing the Gagosian Gallery Spot Challenge earlier this year.
So what do you do when you receive a 5’x5’ Damien Hirst painting?
1) Eat chocolate chip cookies near it while it sits on your bed.
2) Realize your hands are sticky with chocolate. Avoid going near the Damien Hirst for three days. Sleep on the couch until you are confident your hands are no longer sticky with chocolate.
3) Lay it out on your roommate’s bed for friends to observe because there are too many broken ornaments & spilled punch in your own bedroom due to the previous night’s holiday party.
4) Roll up the Damien Hirst and make immature phallic gestures with your friend Max, a la the opening sequence of “Happy Gilmore”.
Owning art is weird. Respecting art is hard. Scope that bomb looking shark though.